Shall I share a secret with you? I, the girl who has very few romantic inclinations and is far too practical for her own good, loves herself a cheesy romance novel.
I like to read. I read a variety of books because truth be told, I like to read mostly for entertainment and reading for entertainment provides you with a large diversity of choice. Biographies, murder mysteries, science fiction, horror, and yes, romance novels.
I love me a good bodice ripper with heaving bosoms and stirring loins. I love that all of the problems the couple face can be fixed and wrapped up with a neat little bow by the end of the book. I love that the men are always handsome and strong and manly but in touch with their feminine side. I love that the women are, for the most part, strong and independent but still believe in true love. I love that the sex is always (ALWAYS) good. There is no awkward fumbling, no weird body noises, no bad breath or ill-timed head butts (I can't be the only person who has leaned in to kiss their husband passionately and ended up giving him a bloody nose...can I?).
Over the course of my 37 years, I have read thousands of romance novels. I remember being teased about it as a teenager. I didn't care. For a fat, acne-covered, never-been-kissed teenage girl, romance novels provided the possibility of true love, the fantasty of a happily ever after, and, as an added bonus, a wealth of knowledge about what exactly was in a fella's trousers.
There is a danger, of course, in reading romance novels when you're a young, impressionable girl. It can easily give you a false impression of what a true relationship is like. Luckily I was as practical then as I am now and while it didn't stop me from reading them, I was aware of their inherent falseness and oversimplicity when it came to how relationships worked.
Still, there is something comforting in reading a novel where the hero never complains that he's out of clean underwear, where the heroine doesn't have to stop and pick dog hair out of her mouth while kissing her beloved, and where the lovestruck couple never falls into bed only to have their coitus interrupted by two cats fighting on the bed beside them.
The point I'm trying to make is that romance novels (even the trashy ones) can be fun and if you're one of those girls (or guys!) who love to secretly read them, let me gather you to my ample bosom. We are kindred spirits you and I.
So when all the hype started up about the new novel "Fifty Shades of Grey", you can bet I was intrigued and determined to read it. Quickly dubbed "mommy porn" by the media, it was touted as a brilliant, groundbreaking erotic novel for women. I read a few reviews that criticized it's clunky prose but hell, I had read Twilight. How bad could it be?
I'm here to tell you.... so bad. So very, very bad.
Should I give you a brief overview of the plot? (Be ye warned...spoilers ahead!)
Anastasia is a young, naive 21 year old who, after stepping in for her sick roommate, interviews a young billionaire named Christian. It's lust at first sight, as it often happens in romance novels, but "Ana" quickly discovers the dark side of Christian. Specifically, he's into domination and quickly draws up a contract where Ana will be his submissive. They spend most of the book discussing this contract and, after Christian deflowers Ana, having hot, wild, monkey sex with some bondage and spanking. Then Ana decides it's not for her and breaks up with him. And that's basically it. This book is 95% sex with a 5% attempt at character development. We find out that Ana loves her parents, loves her roommate Kate, loves her platonic photographer friend Jose and loves Christian. We discover that Christian is "Mrs. Robinson'd" by his mother's friend when he is a young man, that he doesn't like to be touched, and that he's a controlling bastard who confuses women doing everything he tells them to with loving them.
But let's forget about the RIDICULOUS plot for a moment shall we? Afterall, this is the girl who has read thousands of cheesy romance novels and, let's be honest, a lot of them have dumber plot lines than this one. The real issue for me is the absolutely atrocious writing.
It's as though a 16 year old decided to create the perfect man (Christian is tall, handsome, rich, bilingual, wants to singlehandedly end world hunger, and plays the piano like a pro) and then attempted to add a little kink by making him a control freak with an unhealthy addiction to sex. I imagine her each night after her parents went to bed, huddled under the covers with her notebook and flashlight writing sex scene after sex scene while giggling uncontrollably. Sadly, after a little googling, I discovered the author is not, in fact, a 16 year old girl.
Have I mentioned the repetition? Using my handy Kindle search function, I discovered that Ana bites her lip 35 times, there are 58 references to her "inner goddess", Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times and Ana says "jeez" an absolutely stunning 81 times. And that's only a FEW of the many repetitions in this book.
But I know what you dirty birds are really curious about. Those racy, disturbing, dirty sex scenes. Keep your pants on Martha. Between the monotonous repetition, the insulting implication that Christian can make Ana orgasm simply by touching her boobs, talking to her, or "cocking his head at her", and frankly, the decidedly tame "bondage and spanking" sex scenes, I could barely keep from nodding off. I've felt more excitement in my naughty bits from riding a roller coaster.
Also, did you know this is a trilogy? And is on the NY Times best seller list? Weep with me folks.
Listen, do yourself a favour and DON'T read the book. It's too late for me, I've read the first one and have been sucked into it's vortex of madness where I am compelled to finish reading the trilogy. Do not let my noble sacrifice be in vain.
Weekly Photo
Orange
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
Spring
Spring has arrived and I think it's safe to say that both Harold and I have never been as happy to see the green grass growing and to feel the warmth of the sun on our skin, as we are this year.
Springtime brings thoughts of love, feelings of hope, and an appreciation for life as you watch green plants push their way through dark brown earth, encouraged to grow by the warm sun and soft rain. It reminds us that while life is sometimes hard and sad, there is plenty of beauty to be found.
On Saturday the sun was out bright and warm, and when I arrived home from my early morning appointment I found Harold already outside preparing to mow the lawn. He had stumbled on my to-do list while I was out and knowing how much I loathe cutting the grass, had decided to do that chore for me.
He pulled the dusty lawnmower from the shed, checking and replenishing the oil and gas levels, found my gardening tools in about 3 seconds when he overheard me whining that I couldn't find them and began the tedious process of cutting our already "too-long" grass. I tended to my unimpressive but much-loved flower beds; cutting away the old growth, clearing out brown leaves, and digging up weeds. I was sweating, the rose bush drew blood and my legs ached from squatting but I realized that for the first time in weeks I was happy.
I took a quick break and joined our shepherd Hannah who was sunbathing on the deck. I sat on the edge of the deck, feet dangling over the side, sweat on my forehead. It didn't take long for Hannah to come over and lay down beside me, rolling on to her back so as to encourage me to rub her belly. I obliged, running my hand over her belly, marveling at how thick her fur was and how warm it was from the sun. I watched my husband mow the lawn, patiently pushing the lawn mower back and forth across the yard while our chihuahua Dexter trailed behind him.
I closed my eyes, lifted my face to the sun and thought about how difficult life has been for us over the past 4 months. Car troubles, plumbing troubles, mice infestations, and a lung infection/virus that just wouldn't quit.
My brother became seriously ill requiring a hospital stay for him and an unexpected trip to Edmonton for me.
And then in April, Harold's dad, a man loved and respected and now, so missed, passed away. He died peacefully; surrounded by the people who loved him.
A hard 4 months. Full of worry and fear; sadness and loss.
Life just gets you down sometimes doesn't it? The stress over finances, children, jobs, the death of a loved one, feels too heavy of a burden. You start to forget the good; to fear that there is nothing happy left for you to reach for.
On Saturday I was reminded in so many small, meaningful ways, that life can be beautiful.
The prettiness of the flowers that my Jess sent us:
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The pop of colour where previously there was only green:
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The bright yellow blossoms of the forsythia bush.
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The discovery that my beloved bleeding heart plant had survived the winter:
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The sun-warmed fur of an old dog:
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The first bbq of the season:
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We all have small things that make us happy don't we? Sometimes they're lost to us and we have to find them again. On that Saturday I was so grateful for all the little things that made me happy that day. But mostly I'm thankful that I could find happiness again with something as simple as watching the man I love cut the grass, while a small brown dog followed faithfully at his heels.
Springtime brings thoughts of love, feelings of hope, and an appreciation for life as you watch green plants push their way through dark brown earth, encouraged to grow by the warm sun and soft rain. It reminds us that while life is sometimes hard and sad, there is plenty of beauty to be found.
On Saturday the sun was out bright and warm, and when I arrived home from my early morning appointment I found Harold already outside preparing to mow the lawn. He had stumbled on my to-do list while I was out and knowing how much I loathe cutting the grass, had decided to do that chore for me.
He pulled the dusty lawnmower from the shed, checking and replenishing the oil and gas levels, found my gardening tools in about 3 seconds when he overheard me whining that I couldn't find them and began the tedious process of cutting our already "too-long" grass. I tended to my unimpressive but much-loved flower beds; cutting away the old growth, clearing out brown leaves, and digging up weeds. I was sweating, the rose bush drew blood and my legs ached from squatting but I realized that for the first time in weeks I was happy.
I took a quick break and joined our shepherd Hannah who was sunbathing on the deck. I sat on the edge of the deck, feet dangling over the side, sweat on my forehead. It didn't take long for Hannah to come over and lay down beside me, rolling on to her back so as to encourage me to rub her belly. I obliged, running my hand over her belly, marveling at how thick her fur was and how warm it was from the sun. I watched my husband mow the lawn, patiently pushing the lawn mower back and forth across the yard while our chihuahua Dexter trailed behind him.
I closed my eyes, lifted my face to the sun and thought about how difficult life has been for us over the past 4 months. Car troubles, plumbing troubles, mice infestations, and a lung infection/virus that just wouldn't quit.
My brother became seriously ill requiring a hospital stay for him and an unexpected trip to Edmonton for me.
And then in April, Harold's dad, a man loved and respected and now, so missed, passed away. He died peacefully; surrounded by the people who loved him.
A hard 4 months. Full of worry and fear; sadness and loss.
Life just gets you down sometimes doesn't it? The stress over finances, children, jobs, the death of a loved one, feels too heavy of a burden. You start to forget the good; to fear that there is nothing happy left for you to reach for.
On Saturday I was reminded in so many small, meaningful ways, that life can be beautiful.
The prettiness of the flowers that my Jess sent us:
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The pop of colour where previously there was only green:
.jpg)
The bright yellow blossoms of the forsythia bush.
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The discovery that my beloved bleeding heart plant had survived the winter:
.jpg)
The sun-warmed fur of an old dog:
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The first bbq of the season:
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We all have small things that make us happy don't we? Sometimes they're lost to us and we have to find them again. On that Saturday I was so grateful for all the little things that made me happy that day. But mostly I'm thankful that I could find happiness again with something as simple as watching the man I love cut the grass, while a small brown dog followed faithfully at his heels.
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Sadie
Over 15 years ago a dog named Sadie was adopted by a young, newly-married couple. Sadie had already been adopted and returned at least once before and while she was not a bad girl she certainly was... enthusiastic about living life to the fullest.
The first few years were a challenge for Sadie and the young couple as they worked through Sadie's issues but they never gave up on her. Their persistence and dedication to her was rewarded when Sadie mellowed out and became the dog we all knew she could be.
As the couple's lives changed, so did Sadie's. She moved to a different country with them, living in various places until they found their forever home by the ocean. She made numerous driving trips across the country with them and, in the cases where she couldn't join them, waited patiently at home, being a good girl for the dog sitter, until her mom and dad came home again.
The years went by and her body began to show it's age. Her once black muzzle grew white, joyful bounding and running was replaced with a careful, dignified gait and shiny fur began to dull. But although her body aged, her spirit, that joyful, loving spirit, never changed.
She still smiled:
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and relaxed on the couch whenever the occasion called for it:
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Although not my dog, Sadie is a part of my family. She belongs to my best friend Jess and her husband. I've dogsat her, walked her, spent vacations with her, laughed over her silly antics and worried over the phone with Jess over the years about various health scares.
A few days ago, Sadie's mom and dad took their girl to the vet for the last time.
Although Sadie's spirit and body, nearly 117 in dog years, were ready to say goodbye, it was still an agonizing decision for her mom and dad. It is my hope that, even now during one of the darkest times of their lives, they will always remember how much Sadie loved them.
Sleep sweet Sadie girl. You are so loved.
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The first few years were a challenge for Sadie and the young couple as they worked through Sadie's issues but they never gave up on her. Their persistence and dedication to her was rewarded when Sadie mellowed out and became the dog we all knew she could be.
As the couple's lives changed, so did Sadie's. She moved to a different country with them, living in various places until they found their forever home by the ocean. She made numerous driving trips across the country with them and, in the cases where she couldn't join them, waited patiently at home, being a good girl for the dog sitter, until her mom and dad came home again.
The years went by and her body began to show it's age. Her once black muzzle grew white, joyful bounding and running was replaced with a careful, dignified gait and shiny fur began to dull. But although her body aged, her spirit, that joyful, loving spirit, never changed.
She still smiled:
.jpg)
and relaxed on the couch whenever the occasion called for it:
.jpg)
Although not my dog, Sadie is a part of my family. She belongs to my best friend Jess and her husband. I've dogsat her, walked her, spent vacations with her, laughed over her silly antics and worried over the phone with Jess over the years about various health scares.
A few days ago, Sadie's mom and dad took their girl to the vet for the last time.
Although Sadie's spirit and body, nearly 117 in dog years, were ready to say goodbye, it was still an agonizing decision for her mom and dad. It is my hope that, even now during one of the darkest times of their lives, they will always remember how much Sadie loved them.
Sleep sweet Sadie girl. You are so loved.
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A Tale of Two Dogs
We have family in town right now and as usual, they have fallen madly, deeply in love with our Gracie girl.
It happens a lot. Friends and family stop by and within half an hour they have been charmed by the yorkie/maltese cross that is Gracie.
I get it, I really do. She is a lovely, sweet girl who, once she gets over her initial nervousness, will ask you very politely for belly rubs. If you don't happen to be in the "giving out belly rubs" mood, she'll just curl up quietly beside you on the couch. She weighs only 6 pounds or so and she fits perfectly on your lap. She is perfectly content to do whatever you want to do. Sleep, watch tv, go for a walk, go to the dog park. Whatever you choose - she's got your back.
Guests LOVE her.
Do you know who they DON'T love?
This guy:
Like the love for Gracie, I get the dislike for Dexter. He is very enthusiastic about house guests and his desire to greet them and love them and MAKE THEM LOVE HIM TOO!!! He jumps up. He dances around your feet. He nibbles and chews at your hands when you do try and pet him. He can't control his unabashed excitement about your visit and zings around the house like a madman, prancing and leaping and bouncing with the pure, simple joy of making new friends.
He weighs 13 pounds when he should only weigh 6 pounds. He's not fat, just a mutant. But he believes he only weighs 6 pounds and is the appropriate size for laps. He has a licking problem. When you sit down he'll stand against you or on you, and attempt to lick your brain clean via the inside of your ears. If you're a woman he'll attempt to stick his head down your shirt and lick between your boobs. He is RELENTLESS about this. He licks the other dog's ears, the cat's ears and the bunny's ears. He has a thing for ears.
He has no concept of personal space. Where you are, why he must be too.
Trying to snuggle on the couch with daddy? I must sit between the two of you. No - not beside daddy, between you. If mommy is sitting on the couch, a part of me must be touching a part of her at all times. Need to tinkle mom? Here, I'll escort you to the bathroom! Going outside for 2 seconds to put the paper in the recycling bin? I'd better go with you. Going into the bedroom to get socks? I'm good at picking out socks!! And if you don't let me do any of these things with you, I will stand at the door and whine and cry pathetically and LOUDLY until the entire neighborhood believes you are beating me.
He is like this, to a certain degree, with houseguests. He will try jumping at them to get their attention. He'll lick their ears if given the chance and he wants to sit beside them on the couch and will fervently try to cram his 13 pounds of bony knees and elbows into their lap at every possible opportunity..
I've lost count of the amount of times visitors and/or houseguests have threatened to steal Gracie from us. With the exception of Celina the Pet Nanny, no one has ever threatened to steal Dexter.
Obviously I failed at turning Dexter into a well-behaved dog and I take full responsibility for this. Celina the Pet Nanny/Canadian Dog Whisperer could only do so much and believe me, Dexter would be about 10 times worse if he hadn't had some training sessions with Celina and Mirek.
But this isn't about who is to blame for Dexter's disobedience (me) or weird ear fetishes (no idea who is to blame for THAT one). This is about how appearances are deceiving.
Gracie? Our small, sweet pretty little girl suffered from such severe separation anxiety when we first brought her home that she pooped and urinated and howled and screamed and barked herself hoarse within the first 5 minutes of being left alone. For the first year and a half that she lived with us I spent $300 a month on dog care for her. That's $5,400 dollars she cost us. And I couldn't just drop her off at any old dog care facility because did I mention Gracie isn't a fan of big dogs? And to be at a dog care you have to get along with ALL dogs. I had to put an ad out and interview a bunch of weird and scary people before I found the perfect person to look after her. Every morning for a year and a half I drove 20 minutes extra in the morning and 20 minutes extra in the evening to drop her off and pick her up from doggie daycare. After nearly 2 years of medication, a stable home environment, and progressively longer periods of being alone, Gracie is now weaned off the meds and can stay home alone with the other dogs. But it was a long, frustrating and expensive 2 years.
Dexter? Two days after he came home with us, he was sleeping in his crate all night without a peep. After a week with us he would gladly go into his crate for the day for nothing more than a cookie. He had his bed, his bowl of water and his stuffie. He was good to go. See you when you get home mommy!
Dexter eats a lot of inedible objects...rocks, sticks, socks, hair bows from Gracie's head. You give it to him he'll try to eat it.
Gracie eats shit. That's right, you heard me. She.Eats.Shit. She's partial to a particular brand of shit - mainly Hannah the Shepherd's Shit and if you do not watch Gracie outside like a hawk every single moment it won't be long before she is standing underneath Hannah's squatting body with an upturned face and an open mouth like Hannah's ass is the world's best soft serve ice cream machine.
And if she happens to miss it fresh from the factory? No problem!! She'll eat stale shit too! And then she'll come and try to kiss you with her shit-stained tongue.
Dexter is a chihuahua. That means he is miserable, bites, hates children, hates other dogs, and yaps non-stop right? Apparently Dexter forgot somewhere along the way that he is supposed to be a miserable jackass of a dog. He loves EVERYONE. And I mean everyone. Adults, kids, other dogs - it doesn't matter to him. He'll try and make friends with everyone. Big dogs, little dogs, big kids, small kids. Shy kids, friendly kids, kids who grab his tail, kids who chase him around the dog park. He gives everyone a chance.
And before Gracie came along the only time Dexter barked was if the doorbell rang. It's a surprisingly non-shrill bark for a chihuahua.
Gracie is nervous and snappy around dogs she does not know and a pushy and domineering asshole to dogs she does know. She is food aggressive and snarly with Dexter when he tries to cuddle her and she attempts to be pack leader on a regular basis.
She also has that shrill - makes you want to stab yourself in the ear drum with a sharp pencil - bark that she puts to excellent use. The tiniest little noise sets off a volcanic eruption of barking that DOES NOT STOP. And she encourages the other dogs to join her. She welcomes us home from a long day of work with that same shrill, non-stop, screechingly loud barking and she will.not.shut.up. Especially if her "daddy" is in the room.
Also, she makes no attempt to disguise the fact that Ben is her favourite person in the entire world. I may be Dexter's favourite but he at least pretends to be enthusiastic about seeing Ben.
There's no real point to this post other than that it never fails to amuse me that our houseguests want to steal our pushy, dominant, shit-eating "I will cut a bitch and not think twice about it" Gracie over our sweet, "What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love..." Dexter.
First impressions are deceiving in dogs too y'all.
It happens a lot. Friends and family stop by and within half an hour they have been charmed by the yorkie/maltese cross that is Gracie.
Guests LOVE her.
Do you know who they DON'T love?
This guy:
Like the love for Gracie, I get the dislike for Dexter. He is very enthusiastic about house guests and his desire to greet them and love them and MAKE THEM LOVE HIM TOO!!! He jumps up. He dances around your feet. He nibbles and chews at your hands when you do try and pet him. He can't control his unabashed excitement about your visit and zings around the house like a madman, prancing and leaping and bouncing with the pure, simple joy of making new friends.
He weighs 13 pounds when he should only weigh 6 pounds. He's not fat, just a mutant. But he believes he only weighs 6 pounds and is the appropriate size for laps. He has a licking problem. When you sit down he'll stand against you or on you, and attempt to lick your brain clean via the inside of your ears. If you're a woman he'll attempt to stick his head down your shirt and lick between your boobs. He is RELENTLESS about this. He licks the other dog's ears, the cat's ears and the bunny's ears. He has a thing for ears.
He has no concept of personal space. Where you are, why he must be too.
Trying to snuggle on the couch with daddy? I must sit between the two of you. No - not beside daddy, between you. If mommy is sitting on the couch, a part of me must be touching a part of her at all times. Need to tinkle mom? Here, I'll escort you to the bathroom! Going outside for 2 seconds to put the paper in the recycling bin? I'd better go with you. Going into the bedroom to get socks? I'm good at picking out socks!! And if you don't let me do any of these things with you, I will stand at the door and whine and cry pathetically and LOUDLY until the entire neighborhood believes you are beating me.
He is like this, to a certain degree, with houseguests. He will try jumping at them to get their attention. He'll lick their ears if given the chance and he wants to sit beside them on the couch and will fervently try to cram his 13 pounds of bony knees and elbows into their lap at every possible opportunity..
I've lost count of the amount of times visitors and/or houseguests have threatened to steal Gracie from us. With the exception of Celina the Pet Nanny, no one has ever threatened to steal Dexter.
Obviously I failed at turning Dexter into a well-behaved dog and I take full responsibility for this. Celina the Pet Nanny/Canadian Dog Whisperer could only do so much and believe me, Dexter would be about 10 times worse if he hadn't had some training sessions with Celina and Mirek.
But this isn't about who is to blame for Dexter's disobedience (me) or weird ear fetishes (no idea who is to blame for THAT one). This is about how appearances are deceiving.
Gracie? Our small, sweet pretty little girl suffered from such severe separation anxiety when we first brought her home that she pooped and urinated and howled and screamed and barked herself hoarse within the first 5 minutes of being left alone. For the first year and a half that she lived with us I spent $300 a month on dog care for her. That's $5,400 dollars she cost us. And I couldn't just drop her off at any old dog care facility because did I mention Gracie isn't a fan of big dogs? And to be at a dog care you have to get along with ALL dogs. I had to put an ad out and interview a bunch of weird and scary people before I found the perfect person to look after her. Every morning for a year and a half I drove 20 minutes extra in the morning and 20 minutes extra in the evening to drop her off and pick her up from doggie daycare. After nearly 2 years of medication, a stable home environment, and progressively longer periods of being alone, Gracie is now weaned off the meds and can stay home alone with the other dogs. But it was a long, frustrating and expensive 2 years.
Dexter? Two days after he came home with us, he was sleeping in his crate all night without a peep. After a week with us he would gladly go into his crate for the day for nothing more than a cookie. He had his bed, his bowl of water and his stuffie. He was good to go. See you when you get home mommy!
Dexter eats a lot of inedible objects...rocks, sticks, socks, hair bows from Gracie's head. You give it to him he'll try to eat it.
Gracie eats shit. That's right, you heard me. She.Eats.Shit. She's partial to a particular brand of shit - mainly Hannah the Shepherd's Shit and if you do not watch Gracie outside like a hawk every single moment it won't be long before she is standing underneath Hannah's squatting body with an upturned face and an open mouth like Hannah's ass is the world's best soft serve ice cream machine.
And if she happens to miss it fresh from the factory? No problem!! She'll eat stale shit too! And then she'll come and try to kiss you with her shit-stained tongue.
Dexter is a chihuahua. That means he is miserable, bites, hates children, hates other dogs, and yaps non-stop right? Apparently Dexter forgot somewhere along the way that he is supposed to be a miserable jackass of a dog. He loves EVERYONE. And I mean everyone. Adults, kids, other dogs - it doesn't matter to him. He'll try and make friends with everyone. Big dogs, little dogs, big kids, small kids. Shy kids, friendly kids, kids who grab his tail, kids who chase him around the dog park. He gives everyone a chance.
And before Gracie came along the only time Dexter barked was if the doorbell rang. It's a surprisingly non-shrill bark for a chihuahua.
Gracie is nervous and snappy around dogs she does not know and a pushy and domineering asshole to dogs she does know. She is food aggressive and snarly with Dexter when he tries to cuddle her and she attempts to be pack leader on a regular basis.
She also has that shrill - makes you want to stab yourself in the ear drum with a sharp pencil - bark that she puts to excellent use. The tiniest little noise sets off a volcanic eruption of barking that DOES NOT STOP. And she encourages the other dogs to join her. She welcomes us home from a long day of work with that same shrill, non-stop, screechingly loud barking and she will.not.shut.up. Especially if her "daddy" is in the room.
Also, she makes no attempt to disguise the fact that Ben is her favourite person in the entire world. I may be Dexter's favourite but he at least pretends to be enthusiastic about seeing Ben.
There's no real point to this post other than that it never fails to amuse me that our houseguests want to steal our pushy, dominant, shit-eating "I will cut a bitch and not think twice about it" Gracie over our sweet, "What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love..." Dexter.
First impressions are deceiving in dogs too y'all.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Goon
So here's a "not so secret" secret about me. I hate hockey. Not very Canadian of me huh? Although, according to Ben and a study he read, Canadians who play and/or watch the sport of hockey only ranks at about 20% whereas Canadians who play and/or watch golf ranks much, much higher. Of course, I also hate golf so... still not very Canadian.
There are many things I hate about hockey but one of the major ones is the fighting. I find it boring and stupid and pointless. Just get out there and chase your little rubbery puck thing around the ice with your big wooden stick okay?
So you can imagine Ben's surprise when Saturday night I told him I wanted to go and see the movie "Goon". A movie about hockey. In fact, not just hockey but FIGHTING in hockey. See, Pajiba had given it an amazing review and although I hate hockey I tend to like "sports" movies. Especially if it's a movie about an "underdog". Also, I like to keep Ben on his toes when it comes to knowing shit about me. I am a woman of mystery no?
I was pretty sure I would like it and confident that Ben would like it and I was right. Goon is a movie about violence in hockey and there's an abundance of blood spraying and teeth flying out of random people's mouths and I loved every moment of it. It's similar to Slapshot (a movie I HATE) but there's a sweetness to it that Slapshot failed to achieve. Most of that sweetness comes from the main character but there's plenty of humour and heart from the entire cast.
Because this post isn't actually about the movie Goon, I'll stop gushing about it and leave you with a simple "Go see this movie." You won't regret it.
What this post is actually about is what happened at the theatre. As you can imagine, a movie theatre on St. Patrick's Day isn't what you would call "popular" so we weren't surprised when we arrived at the movie and discovered we were the only 2 people in the theatre for Goon. We had sat there for about five minutes when a short blonde woman entered the theatre and stood beside us.
Woman: You have got to be kidding me.
Ben: Not too busy tonight huh?
Woman: I can't believe it.
Ben: Feel free to sit wherever you'd like.
Woman: I'm sitting next to you guys.
Me and Ben: *laugh*
Woman: I'm not kidding. Move over.
Me: *stares blankly and then shrugs before standing to let her pass*
Sure enough, in a theatre entirely empty except for Ben and I, the woman plopped herself down in the seat directly beside Ben.
Woman: I've never been to a movie by myself before and I'm not starting tonight.
Ben: Um, okay.
Woman: My husband should be with me. We got free tickets to this movie but then we got in a fight and I finally just said, "Fuck you." and came to the movie by myself.
Ben: That's nice.
Me: *loudly whispers* Is she drunk?
Ben: *nods and eats a handful of popcorn*
Woman: Can you believe they want $5 for a bag of popcorn?
Ben: Pretty expensive.
We sat there in awkward silence for about 5 minutes and then:
Woman: I'm going to get some popcorn.
10 minutes later, she was back with a large bag of popcorn. She waved cheerily to us from the end of the row, we waved back. She slid back into her seat, spilling popcorn on herself, Ben and Ben's drink. As she picked popcorn out of Ben's lap and off his drink, another man entered the theatre and sat behind us.
Woman: Hey, someone else!
She waved at him, he stared blankly at her before looking at the screen where the movie was starting. The woman picked more popcorn off Ben's lap before shoving it into her mouth.
I settled in, confident our movie experience was about to be ruined by a slightly tipsy woman and happy that Ben was sitting next to her and not me. He tends to be amused by inappropriate, drunk people while I'm more inclined to punch them in the face.
Surprisingly, other than a few bouts of loud conversation about events in the movie she was fairly well behaved. Of course, halfway through the movie there was this:
Woman: This is a really funny movie huh?
Ben: Yup.
Woman: Listen, you're Kurt for the night. Okay?
Ben: Sure.
Me: *loudly whispers* Kurt! I'm thirsty, pass me the drink!
As Ben passed me the drink, I took a huge slurp, nearly choking with laughter as the woman elbowed "Kurt" in the side at a particularly funny part. Throughout the movie, I giggled as Ben was continually elbowed at all the funny parts. Near the end of the movie, I grabbed Ben's hand and held it tightly, glancing over to see the woman holding his other arm in a death grip.
Me: *loudly whispers* Good job you're holding your drink in your hand Kurt. I'm pretty sure she'd be holding it if you weren't.
Ben: *loudly whispers back* I wanted to get my drink in my hand, in case she tried to roofie me.
Me: *laughs hysterically*
As the credits rolled, we gathered our stuff and stood up.
Woman: Hey thanks guys! That was a lot of fun!
Ben and I: Yeah! Nice meeting you.
Then we ran like hell from the theatre.
There are many things I hate about hockey but one of the major ones is the fighting. I find it boring and stupid and pointless. Just get out there and chase your little rubbery puck thing around the ice with your big wooden stick okay?
So you can imagine Ben's surprise when Saturday night I told him I wanted to go and see the movie "Goon". A movie about hockey. In fact, not just hockey but FIGHTING in hockey. See, Pajiba had given it an amazing review and although I hate hockey I tend to like "sports" movies. Especially if it's a movie about an "underdog". Also, I like to keep Ben on his toes when it comes to knowing shit about me. I am a woman of mystery no?
I was pretty sure I would like it and confident that Ben would like it and I was right. Goon is a movie about violence in hockey and there's an abundance of blood spraying and teeth flying out of random people's mouths and I loved every moment of it. It's similar to Slapshot (a movie I HATE) but there's a sweetness to it that Slapshot failed to achieve. Most of that sweetness comes from the main character but there's plenty of humour and heart from the entire cast.
Because this post isn't actually about the movie Goon, I'll stop gushing about it and leave you with a simple "Go see this movie." You won't regret it.
What this post is actually about is what happened at the theatre. As you can imagine, a movie theatre on St. Patrick's Day isn't what you would call "popular" so we weren't surprised when we arrived at the movie and discovered we were the only 2 people in the theatre for Goon. We had sat there for about five minutes when a short blonde woman entered the theatre and stood beside us.
Woman: You have got to be kidding me.
Ben: Not too busy tonight huh?
Woman: I can't believe it.
Ben: Feel free to sit wherever you'd like.
Woman: I'm sitting next to you guys.
Me and Ben: *laugh*
Woman: I'm not kidding. Move over.
Me: *stares blankly and then shrugs before standing to let her pass*
Sure enough, in a theatre entirely empty except for Ben and I, the woman plopped herself down in the seat directly beside Ben.
Woman: I've never been to a movie by myself before and I'm not starting tonight.
Ben: Um, okay.
Woman: My husband should be with me. We got free tickets to this movie but then we got in a fight and I finally just said, "Fuck you." and came to the movie by myself.
Ben: That's nice.
Me: *loudly whispers* Is she drunk?
Ben: *nods and eats a handful of popcorn*
Woman: Can you believe they want $5 for a bag of popcorn?
Ben: Pretty expensive.
We sat there in awkward silence for about 5 minutes and then:
Woman: I'm going to get some popcorn.
10 minutes later, she was back with a large bag of popcorn. She waved cheerily to us from the end of the row, we waved back. She slid back into her seat, spilling popcorn on herself, Ben and Ben's drink. As she picked popcorn out of Ben's lap and off his drink, another man entered the theatre and sat behind us.
Woman: Hey, someone else!
She waved at him, he stared blankly at her before looking at the screen where the movie was starting. The woman picked more popcorn off Ben's lap before shoving it into her mouth.
I settled in, confident our movie experience was about to be ruined by a slightly tipsy woman and happy that Ben was sitting next to her and not me. He tends to be amused by inappropriate, drunk people while I'm more inclined to punch them in the face.
Surprisingly, other than a few bouts of loud conversation about events in the movie she was fairly well behaved. Of course, halfway through the movie there was this:
Woman: This is a really funny movie huh?
Ben: Yup.
Woman: Listen, you're Kurt for the night. Okay?
Ben: Sure.
Me: *loudly whispers* Kurt! I'm thirsty, pass me the drink!
As Ben passed me the drink, I took a huge slurp, nearly choking with laughter as the woman elbowed "Kurt" in the side at a particularly funny part. Throughout the movie, I giggled as Ben was continually elbowed at all the funny parts. Near the end of the movie, I grabbed Ben's hand and held it tightly, glancing over to see the woman holding his other arm in a death grip.
Me: *loudly whispers* Good job you're holding your drink in your hand Kurt. I'm pretty sure she'd be holding it if you weren't.
Ben: *loudly whispers back* I wanted to get my drink in my hand, in case she tried to roofie me.
Me: *laughs hysterically*
As the credits rolled, we gathered our stuff and stood up.
Woman: Hey thanks guys! That was a lot of fun!
Ben and I: Yeah! Nice meeting you.
Then we ran like hell from the theatre.
Friday, 16 March 2012
Food Waste Friday
Every Friday I participate in The Frugal Girl's Food Waste Friday. We post pictures of the food we wasted during the week.
So our second week of Food Waste Friday wasn't as successful as our first week was.
I brought my lunch bag home and although I mentioned it to Ben in the car on the way home, neither of us remembered there was food left over from my lunch. It sat overnight and in the morning when Ben opened my lunch bag he discovered this sad little sight:
Strawberries, broccoli and a Yop. I'll admit it - the Yop stung. I love drinkable yoghurt and at a $1.00 a bottle, it feels like much more of a waste than the berries and broccoli.
Also, I'm a little concerned that Ben is taking this "THERE WILL BE NO FOOD WASTE ON MY WATCH" a little too seriously. Yesterday he ate an apple that looked seriously questionable. Apparently it had zero taste. As Ben said "I've never eaten an apple that didn't taste like anything."
Yes, I am accepting bets on how long it is until Ben gives himself food poisoning.
So, how did you do this week?
So our second week of Food Waste Friday wasn't as successful as our first week was.
I brought my lunch bag home and although I mentioned it to Ben in the car on the way home, neither of us remembered there was food left over from my lunch. It sat overnight and in the morning when Ben opened my lunch bag he discovered this sad little sight:
Strawberries, broccoli and a Yop. I'll admit it - the Yop stung. I love drinkable yoghurt and at a $1.00 a bottle, it feels like much more of a waste than the berries and broccoli.
Also, I'm a little concerned that Ben is taking this "THERE WILL BE NO FOOD WASTE ON MY WATCH" a little too seriously. Yesterday he ate an apple that looked seriously questionable. Apparently it had zero taste. As Ben said "I've never eaten an apple that didn't taste like anything."
Yes, I am accepting bets on how long it is until Ben gives himself food poisoning.
So, how did you do this week?
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Kiss My Face
Hey, did you folks know I like animals? Probably right? I mean, I occasionally talk about my pets, post a few pictures of them. I'm not obsessive about them, I don't accidentally give them a side pony then show the internets their shameful hair.
(Oh how I love her angry, blurry little face in this picture)
I suppose these are not the actions of someone who loves animals.
That being said, if you were to approach me in tears, sharing that your grandma had just died, I would hand you tissues for your tears, rub your back soothingly and murmur words of comfort. If you told me your dog had just died, I would sob right along with you, hog the tissues, crack open a bottle of wine (or 2) and help you drink your sorrows away until we were both completely smashed and wandering the streets in our sock feet. You hollering about what a good dog Rex was and me hollering that Rex was "walking with Jesus" now.
What I'm saying is that, torturing them with wee crocheted legwarmers aside, I like animals more than I like most people and I think we all know that.
With that in mind, I've decided it's about high time I started using brands that refuse to test on animals. Because animals needlessly suffering so that humans can look and smell pretty? Not cool. Not cool at all.
Honestly, for someone who professes to love and respect animals as much as I do, it's shameful that I have continued to use my usual beauty products, and subsequently support companies that condone live animal testing.
While my main goal is to stop supporting companies that test on live animals, I will confess that I'm also interested in using products that are naturally made, thereby reducing toxins entering into my body.
As part of my simple living goals, I have been researching not only ways to live simply on less, but ways to reduce our impact on Earth's resources as well as how to keep toxins and other chemicals away from my gorgeous self.
Basically I'm turning into a dirty hippie (and trying to convert Ben into one too).
While I'm not quite at the point of joining the no-poo movement, I do love the idea of using something that was not tested on live animals and will also not leach toxins and chemicals into my big, beautiful brain, via my scalp.
Which now leads me to the actual "actual" point of this blog post...kissing my face.
Kiss my Face is a green company that refuses to use ingredients that are tested on animals and believes in using only natural ingredients in their products. I had heard good things about them and decided to try some of their products with the goal being to review them against my current beauty products.
First up... the soap (Also, please note that I will not be comparing availability and pricing. Obviously the new products are going to, for the most part, cost more. Part of living a simple and frugal life is deciding what is important to me and worth spending my hard cold cash on. Not torturing animals so I can have soft skin falls under that category.)
Kiss My Face Fragrance Free Pure Olive Oil versus Dove Original, Fragrance Free.
Ingredients:
Dove:
Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate, Stearic Acid, Sodium Tallowate, Sodium Palmitate, Lauric Acid, Sodium Isethionate , Water , Sodium Stearate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Cocoate, Sodium Palm Kernelate, Sodium Chloride, Tetrasodium EDTA, Tetrasodium Etidronate, Maltol, Titanium Dioxide
Kiss My Face:
Saponified Olive Oil, Water, Sodium Chloride
Appearance: For most folks, the small oval shaped white bar of Dove soap is probably considered prettier than the boxy, olive-green block of Kiss My Face soap. Luckily, I'm not most folks and it makes me giggle when I use a bar of soap that has "Kiss My Face" etched into it. If they produced one that said "Kiss My Ass" I would buy MILLIONS of them. Because I am 12.
Scent: Both of these soaps are considered fragrance free. However, both of them have a fragrance. Dove soap has a light flowery scent and Kiss My Face has a, shockingly enough, olive oil scent.
Ease of Use: The Dove soap fits nicely into your hand and lathers well. It rinses off without leaving any feelings of stickiness or residue. Kiss My Face soap is boxier and a bit more difficult to handle. It doesn't lather at all and there is a slight residue feeling directly after rinsing.
Final Verdict: Overall I probably enjoy using the Dove soap more than the Kiss My Face. It's weird to use a soap that doesn't really lather since we've been taught that lots of lather means clean. The olive oil scent doesn't bother me and even if it did, the scent definitely doesn't linger long on your skin. It took me a few days to get used to the "slightly sticky feeling" while rinsing but EVERY soap, other than Dove does that to my skin. What I did love was how soft my skin is after using the Kiss My Face soap. Dove doesn't dry out my skin but it doesn't leave it as soft as the Kiss My Face does.
Finally, the fact that Kiss My Face has 3 ingredients and I know what all three of those ingredients are, compared to the scary amount of ingredients in Dove and I think I'll stick with the Kiss My Face soap. I am going to try different ones though (the olive oil and honey bar perhaps?) to see if I might like those better than the pure olive oil one.
Shampoo, Conditioner, Shaving Cream
Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo and Conditioner versus John Freida Brilliant Brunette Shampoo and Conditioner
Appearance: They both come in plastic squeeze bottles and they both look pretty. Kiss My Face has the slight advantage as it's a definite bottle while the John Frieda is more of a tube and has a tendency to fall over if brushed against.
Scent: John Frieda has a faint and pleasant smell. Kiss My Face smells like Pine Sol. It's rather disconcerting actually. To be fair, Harold doesn't think it smells like Pine Sol but that's only because he doesn't clean the kitchen floors and therefore doesn't really have the opportunity to smell Pine Sol up close and personal like I have.
Ease of Use: John Frieda requires quite a bit of shampoo to work up a lather. I also have to use a large amount of conditioner to get it to detangle my hair. Kiss My Face shampoo, much like their soap doesn't really lather even with lots of shampoo. That can take some getting used to. I require less Kiss My Face conditioner to detangle my hair.
This is a tough one for me. I have very thick, long, wavy-to-curly hair that is a pain in the ass to wash and condition. I also have a sensitive scalp so brushing my hair with any type of tangles in it leaves me wincing in pain. I only wash my hair every 3 days, partly because I am lazy but mostly because it's better for your hair. With the John Frieda shampoo, washing my hair every 3 days is not a problem. It also does a great job of keeping the frizz down. Before John Frieda I had seriously frizzy hair so I was a little apprehensive about switching. The conditioner, however, does not do a great job of detangling my hair so there is a lot of loud cursing and wincing when I comb my hair after the shower. The Kiss My Face has that odd "Pine Sol" smell and although I enjoy the smell of a freshly cleaned kitchen floor, I don't like that smell on my head..
On a positive note, the shampoo makes your scalp tingle pleasantly afterwards. And the conditioner...the conditioner is a dream. It detangles my hair like magic. MAGIC!! It also seems to keep my hair from frizzing but it makes my hair feel slightly - I don't really know how to explain it - heavy and slightly greasy by the second day. I think if I had thin hair I would detest this shampoo.
Final Verdict: I'll keep using the shampoo and conditioner until it's gone but I have a feeling I'll be looking for something different. Even with the magical detangling power of the conditioner, I can't get past my hair smelling like Pine Sol.
Kiss My Face Fragrance Free Shaving Cream versus Pure Silk Moisturizing
Appearance: While the Pure Silk comes out as a gel and turns into foam, the Kiss My Face shaving cream is creamy and more soap-like on your legs.
Scent: Pure Silk smells flowery and the Kiss my Face is scent free.
Ease of Use: Well, the Kiss My Face shaving cream doesn't come out as a cold gel that you then have to slather onto your legs or your delicate lady bits so that's a plus. Other than that they're both pretty much the same.
Confession time - I don't give a shit about shaving cream. I'm the girl who lots of times shaves her legs with nothing but soap or, even worse, just water, so obviously I'm the wrong person to be comparing shaving creams. I asked Ben for his opinion since he currently uses a foam shaving cream and is now using this shaving cream. His comment "I didn't use it correctly the first time. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Final Verdict: Unless Ben makes a request to try something different, we'll continue to use this shaving cream because they don't test on animals and as previously stated, I have no strong feelings about my brand or type of shaving cream. Just keep in mind that if you like the "foam" shaving cream, you will not like this.
Listen, I promise I am not going all PETA on you because them bitches be crazy. But, if you're interested in switching to cruelty free brands check out Leaping Bunny. It provides tips on going cruelty free and lists companies that do not test on animals.
Nor do I then crochet them tiny little leg warmers to compliment their unintentional 80s look and then post it on the internets for the world to see or anything...
(Oh how I love her angry, blurry little face in this picture)
I suppose these are not the actions of someone who loves animals.
That being said, if you were to approach me in tears, sharing that your grandma had just died, I would hand you tissues for your tears, rub your back soothingly and murmur words of comfort. If you told me your dog had just died, I would sob right along with you, hog the tissues, crack open a bottle of wine (or 2) and help you drink your sorrows away until we were both completely smashed and wandering the streets in our sock feet. You hollering about what a good dog Rex was and me hollering that Rex was "walking with Jesus" now.
What I'm saying is that, torturing them with wee crocheted legwarmers aside, I like animals more than I like most people and I think we all know that.
With that in mind, I've decided it's about high time I started using brands that refuse to test on animals. Because animals needlessly suffering so that humans can look and smell pretty? Not cool. Not cool at all.
Honestly, for someone who professes to love and respect animals as much as I do, it's shameful that I have continued to use my usual beauty products, and subsequently support companies that condone live animal testing.
While my main goal is to stop supporting companies that test on live animals, I will confess that I'm also interested in using products that are naturally made, thereby reducing toxins entering into my body.
As part of my simple living goals, I have been researching not only ways to live simply on less, but ways to reduce our impact on Earth's resources as well as how to keep toxins and other chemicals away from my gorgeous self.
Basically I'm turning into a dirty hippie (and trying to convert Ben into one too).
While I'm not quite at the point of joining the no-poo movement, I do love the idea of using something that was not tested on live animals and will also not leach toxins and chemicals into my big, beautiful brain, via my scalp.
Which now leads me to the actual "actual" point of this blog post...kissing my face.
Kiss my Face is a green company that refuses to use ingredients that are tested on animals and believes in using only natural ingredients in their products. I had heard good things about them and decided to try some of their products with the goal being to review them against my current beauty products.
First up... the soap (Also, please note that I will not be comparing availability and pricing. Obviously the new products are going to, for the most part, cost more. Part of living a simple and frugal life is deciding what is important to me and worth spending my hard cold cash on. Not torturing animals so I can have soft skin falls under that category.)
Kiss My Face Fragrance Free Pure Olive Oil versus Dove Original, Fragrance Free.
Dove:
Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate, Stearic Acid, Sodium Tallowate, Sodium Palmitate, Lauric Acid, Sodium Isethionate , Water , Sodium Stearate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Cocoate, Sodium Palm Kernelate, Sodium Chloride, Tetrasodium EDTA, Tetrasodium Etidronate, Maltol, Titanium Dioxide
Kiss My Face:
Saponified Olive Oil, Water, Sodium Chloride
Appearance: For most folks, the small oval shaped white bar of Dove soap is probably considered prettier than the boxy, olive-green block of Kiss My Face soap. Luckily, I'm not most folks and it makes me giggle when I use a bar of soap that has "Kiss My Face" etched into it. If they produced one that said "Kiss My Ass" I would buy MILLIONS of them. Because I am 12.
Scent: Both of these soaps are considered fragrance free. However, both of them have a fragrance. Dove soap has a light flowery scent and Kiss My Face has a, shockingly enough, olive oil scent.
Ease of Use: The Dove soap fits nicely into your hand and lathers well. It rinses off without leaving any feelings of stickiness or residue. Kiss My Face soap is boxier and a bit more difficult to handle. It doesn't lather at all and there is a slight residue feeling directly after rinsing.
Final Verdict: Overall I probably enjoy using the Dove soap more than the Kiss My Face. It's weird to use a soap that doesn't really lather since we've been taught that lots of lather means clean. The olive oil scent doesn't bother me and even if it did, the scent definitely doesn't linger long on your skin. It took me a few days to get used to the "slightly sticky feeling" while rinsing but EVERY soap, other than Dove does that to my skin. What I did love was how soft my skin is after using the Kiss My Face soap. Dove doesn't dry out my skin but it doesn't leave it as soft as the Kiss My Face does.
Finally, the fact that Kiss My Face has 3 ingredients and I know what all three of those ingredients are, compared to the scary amount of ingredients in Dove and I think I'll stick with the Kiss My Face soap. I am going to try different ones though (the olive oil and honey bar perhaps?) to see if I might like those better than the pure olive oil one.
Shampoo, Conditioner, Shaving Cream
Kiss My Face Whenever Shampoo and Conditioner versus John Freida Brilliant Brunette Shampoo and Conditioner
Appearance: They both come in plastic squeeze bottles and they both look pretty. Kiss My Face has the slight advantage as it's a definite bottle while the John Frieda is more of a tube and has a tendency to fall over if brushed against.
Scent: John Frieda has a faint and pleasant smell. Kiss My Face smells like Pine Sol. It's rather disconcerting actually. To be fair, Harold doesn't think it smells like Pine Sol but that's only because he doesn't clean the kitchen floors and therefore doesn't really have the opportunity to smell Pine Sol up close and personal like I have.
Ease of Use: John Frieda requires quite a bit of shampoo to work up a lather. I also have to use a large amount of conditioner to get it to detangle my hair. Kiss My Face shampoo, much like their soap doesn't really lather even with lots of shampoo. That can take some getting used to. I require less Kiss My Face conditioner to detangle my hair.
This is a tough one for me. I have very thick, long, wavy-to-curly hair that is a pain in the ass to wash and condition. I also have a sensitive scalp so brushing my hair with any type of tangles in it leaves me wincing in pain. I only wash my hair every 3 days, partly because I am lazy but mostly because it's better for your hair. With the John Frieda shampoo, washing my hair every 3 days is not a problem. It also does a great job of keeping the frizz down. Before John Frieda I had seriously frizzy hair so I was a little apprehensive about switching. The conditioner, however, does not do a great job of detangling my hair so there is a lot of loud cursing and wincing when I comb my hair after the shower. The Kiss My Face has that odd "Pine Sol" smell and although I enjoy the smell of a freshly cleaned kitchen floor, I don't like that smell on my head..
On a positive note, the shampoo makes your scalp tingle pleasantly afterwards. And the conditioner...the conditioner is a dream. It detangles my hair like magic. MAGIC!! It also seems to keep my hair from frizzing but it makes my hair feel slightly - I don't really know how to explain it - heavy and slightly greasy by the second day. I think if I had thin hair I would detest this shampoo.
Final Verdict: I'll keep using the shampoo and conditioner until it's gone but I have a feeling I'll be looking for something different. Even with the magical detangling power of the conditioner, I can't get past my hair smelling like Pine Sol.
Kiss My Face Fragrance Free Shaving Cream versus Pure Silk Moisturizing
Appearance: While the Pure Silk comes out as a gel and turns into foam, the Kiss My Face shaving cream is creamy and more soap-like on your legs.
Scent: Pure Silk smells flowery and the Kiss my Face is scent free.
Ease of Use: Well, the Kiss My Face shaving cream doesn't come out as a cold gel that you then have to slather onto your legs or your delicate lady bits so that's a plus. Other than that they're both pretty much the same.
Confession time - I don't give a shit about shaving cream. I'm the girl who lots of times shaves her legs with nothing but soap or, even worse, just water, so obviously I'm the wrong person to be comparing shaving creams. I asked Ben for his opinion since he currently uses a foam shaving cream and is now using this shaving cream. His comment "I didn't use it correctly the first time. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Final Verdict: Unless Ben makes a request to try something different, we'll continue to use this shaving cream because they don't test on animals and as previously stated, I have no strong feelings about my brand or type of shaving cream. Just keep in mind that if you like the "foam" shaving cream, you will not like this.
Listen, I promise I am not going all PETA on you because them bitches be crazy. But, if you're interested in switching to cruelty free brands check out Leaping Bunny. It provides tips on going cruelty free and lists companies that do not test on animals.
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